I received this comment on an introduction post I made for a creator community I'm in.

This isn't the first time I've received messages like this.

As I thought about why more people aren't this open about their lives, it dawned on me that I too was closed off and guarded for the majority of my life.

But now? I don't mind bringing others along to explore the dark crevices of my conditioned mind.

So why don't I care? It starts with defining what vulnerability means to me.

Vulnerability means exposing a weakness that could be exploited. In a sense, exposing yourself to being harmed in some way.

But I've come to understand that we are always in control of what harms us when it comes to emotions.

When someone else makes fun of us, puts us down, or becomes angry with us, there's no inherent reason we must react internally or externally.

We choose to believe hurtful words from another person, or not.

And the best insulation against feeling bad about ourselves? Becoming proud of the person we are by gathering evidence.

Each time we make a decision aligned with the person we want to become, we gather evidence and build a case that we are, in fact, the type of person we want to be.

As a result, we become insulated against not only judgments and criticism from others, but external uncertainty in general.

And nothing thrives on external uncertainty more than anxiety.

This is why a critical part of my anti-anxiety tool-kit has become discipline, gratitude, acceptance, and cultivating qualities that make me proud of who I am.

To directly address the comment I received above, I don't view my writing about anxiety as being vulnerable or requiring guts. I'm not tormented by the idea of strangers reading, judging, or viewing me as weak in some way.

Why?

Because I have substantial evidence that I am the type of person I want to be. I know the work I've put into all aspects of my life, and I've clearly defined how I measure my self-worth, and "goodenoughness" (technical term).

And it isn't the opinion of others.

I wasn't always this steadfast in my contentment. I was teased as a kid for a variety of reasons and know what it's like to feel bad about yourself 24/7.

When anxiety arrived on the scene of my life, my experience became downright torturous at times with no lifelines or safety nets.

I'm writing to the past version of me—what my former self would have tremendously benefited from. And if along the way my concepts benefit others, that's great.

To be honest, I do hope it helps you in some way. Because I know how much even 10% relief means to me when I'm maximally tested by anxiety.

I remember the numerous times when I felt hopeless and overwhelmed by my intense anxiety attacks, so I think it's important to share what I learned from my years of painful work—regardless of how "vulnerable" I must become.
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